My Story Didn’t Kill Me!

When God Restores You…

Have you ever looked back over your life and wondered how you made it through a season alive?! Not to mention in your right mind. It is truly by the Grace and Mercy of God that we are able to withstand through the trials of life.

“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Romans 8:28 AMPC

Many ask, why did I have to go through this turmoil, shame and pain to get to this point in my life? We have to understand that God is NOT the author of ANY confusion or pain. God is a good Father and his plans for us is for good and not for harm. Unfortunately we live in a world rippled with sin, pride, disobedience and self indulgence and the list can go on and on. In most cases we become affected by the consequences of our own decisions or by the hands of another individual that is operating in sin.

Let say an individual is married and they go through a divorce. I will use myself as an example; being married to the man I believed was the one God ordained for me. But one might ask, if it really was of God…why are you divorced? Well that was my inner fight also. You see, I believe God gives us choices. Two people may be fully committed to a choice at one moment then one might become not so committed and choose to walk away or dishonor the marriage vows. Does that mean God did not ordain the marriage; NO NOT AT ALL!!

Any time an individuals righteous truth is invaded with lies they can make decisions based on selfish desires. Unfortunately in a marriage, a spouses decision will directly affect the other, whether good or bad. Because you are defined as one-flesh anything dishonorable or honorable the other person will partake of it in some way or another. So yes, I went through a divorce; but God was NOT the author of that; nor do I have to be ashamed that my marriage did not withstand. God called me a wife, and I still am. Although I am in waiting for my new husband to decide to choose me as his wife. Another man decision to walk away does not cancel who God called me. My identity is in Christ!

I mentioned earlier about me being divorced and how that was my inner fight and torment; after I knew God said I was to be married to an individual. Once we come to grips and accept that people have choices and understand that some choices may not be for the good of people close to them, even though they pursue it anyway. I believe that season of my life was the greatest shift internally that I have ever experienced. Without going into details of all of the problems that surfaced within me during that time (I will save those juicy details for my upcoming book entailing all the personal inner struggles I went through) of shame, turmoil and regret.

Let me stay on the topic of how God is still able to get purpose from our life struggles. Like I said before, inner healing was necessary. If you’re open to allow God to sweep through the corners of your heart He will reveal many things buried on the inside. I believe, when we come out on the other side we are able to see clearer and embrace what God allows. One might express; but if God knows all why wouldn’t He intervene? Well it was my choice to be married, not to mentioned God also saw the two amazing sons I would conceive and bring into this world. He knew my love for Him would be developed into my children and be a big part of their character. He knew He would heal my wounded heart and I would in turn bless more people through my journey of healing through a blog site called My Passion Confessions. He knew the pain within would lead me to write the passions of my heart and in turn become a book that foretell my journey of surrendering at the well (where I met Jesus for real), he knew I would publish a prayer journal, and a series of children’s books!

I was able to produce more coming out of my painful days than in my happiest times. I had to decide to allow God to mend my broken heart and embrace His truth concerning me. We are not defined by our life struggles. We are defined by our identity in Christ. Many times our purpose and identity get high-jacked or consumed by the struggles we face. Once we decide to allow other people’s choices that has directly affected us be THEIR mistake and THEIR problem as we make the choice to forgive them and move in a forward motion while allowing God to readjust and mend the broken pieces of our soul; then we will be able to see the good that God has turned around for our favor. You meant it for evil but God turned it around for my good!

Prayer Confession:

God you have captured the pain that caused my heart to bleed and my feet to stumble. You have counted every tear of my midnight's and became a shield of peace and refuge. The weight of your Glory has restored me. It was the enemies plan to destroy me but you used the suffering of my afflictions to develop me into your Mighty Warrior! You have turned the weight of my pain and the sufferings of my yesterday into a weapon of force that will recover the lost and restore the brokenhearted to you. I will release my testimony into the earth to encourage my sister, to strengthen my brother and bring shame to the works of the enemy. Hallelujah!!! You have worked all things together for my good!

~ My Passion Confessions

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