Holiday Grief

The holiday season is approaching without any delays. These upcoming holidays are two of the most family celebrated holidays. This is the season where everyone make certain they spend some type of quality time with family.

This is also the season when many people silently suffer in grief from the loss of a love one. You cringe because the world around you expects you to be happy because they’re happy. So you put on a fake happy front just to get through the day. Not to mention you don’t want to ruin someone else’s holiday by bringing up death! It gets harder each year pretending there’s nothing going on in the inside. We understand that we all will encounter death at some point and we all will have an experience with the death of a close love one sooner or later. Losing a mother, father or a child is not something anyone can put into a definition to ease or package it in a way that will resolve the emotional void. I believe we spend more time hiding the person than remembering them during these times. We can’t be afraid to embrace the memory of our deceased love ones. Memories are not to be hidden, they are meant to be embraced and celebrated!

I looked up the meaning of the word void, it is described as an empty space, opening, gap, emptiness, the quality or state of being without something, lack, absence, a feeling of want or hollowness. All of the above defines the feeling that an individual has when they are missing a love one. There’s nothing earthly that can replace the void but the individual that is no longer amongst the living. Although we know this replacement will never happen.

”Though I speak, my grief is not relieved; And if I remain silent, how am I eased?”Job‬ ‭16:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬. Holding grief in during these times only makes the holiday season harder to bare. “I was mute with silence, I held my peace even from good; And my sorrow was stirred up. My heart was hot within me; While I was musing, the fire burned. Then I spoke with my tongue: “ LORD, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. Selah” Psalms‬ ‭39:2-5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬. As David cried out to the Lord; he told God that in his silence his sorrow was stirred up the more. He said his heart was hot within him.

How many times have you held in the emotions or the painful feeling during the holiday season with the intentions of not making others uncomfortable?

Let me tell you, being silent about your loss makes others uncomfortable also. As such, others try not to mention it since you’re not going to mention it. It’s important to develop ways to remember our love one with our current friends and family members. Find ways to incorporate the memory of that person in your holiday. Create a memory game that showcases the best of their qualities or all of their most funniest moment. Or just spending some time reminiscing about the character traits of your love one. Don’t repeat the funeral or memorial session, but remember them in the fullness of who they were and embrace the impact they made in your life. Without silencing their memory within. As David said, silencing or trying to smother out the sorrow can stir up grief within you!

There is really no way to ignore the void, so you might as well fill that void with who you’re missing. Tell a quick funny story about them; for an example, once my Uncle saw a snake in the house and he ran out so fast he beat the cat out of the house! Seeing him run out so fast was something the whole family laughed about for many years! Simply telling that memory brought an instant smile on my face. Just embracing who he was with all of his jokes and how he imparted into my life helps to fill the void of missing him. When I think of my grandparents, my sister and I would spend two weeks in the summer with them. We would tell our grandma that we wanted to go to the store to buy candy, she would tell granddaddy to take us to the store and he would; but he would only give us one quarter together to spend! Haha haha! We would sit in his truck and wait for more money, then he would say so quickly; Go On Now!!!...that’s all y’all getting!! If you could hear the tone of his voice you would be laughing uncontrollably like I am now!!! I must say, I had the best grandparents ever! Just thinking of them brings me joy. I thank God that He chose them to be apart of my life!

In Christ we accept life and death as it is apart of everyone’s cycle. But memories, we have forever! I urge you to not spend this holiday hiding the memories of your love one. Tell a story about some of the things that made them special to you. As we accept the cycle of life and death, we release our will to hold on to their physical being as we embrace the peace of God concerning them for us. Life and death is not something we control. We are not created in a way to carry grief or pain, God designed it for us to release all inner pain, emotional struggles and grief! But we can hold on to memories of who they were and all of the wonderful qualities they brought into our life. The impact a person made in the earth cannot be erase, which is why we celebrate who they were and the joy they brought us while they were here with us! Every person that has a personal relationship with Christ, will have eternal life and we will see them again!

Prayer Confession:

God I thank you for giving me a way of escape from this pain. I no longer want to carry the burden of this pain, but give me wonderful memories to embrace them as I seek for peace during this season. The void of their earthly presence crushes my spirit and silently bruises my soul. No more pretending for me Lord, every time I experience a great void, fill it with one of the most memorable moments ever about them! Embrace me, heal me and restore me in this season with great joy! Mend the broken pieces of my heart and consume me today with your neverending compassion and love. Every morning fill the void in my heart, until joy and peace is restored as I release this pain and accept your soverign will. Let the strength of your love be with me during this season. In Jesus name! Amen!

~ My Passion Confessions

For more posts on depression during the holiday season visit: https://www.mypassionconfessions.com/post/freedom-from-silent-pain

https://www.mypassionconfessions.com/post/freedom-from-depression-and-emotional-isolation

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